Throughout Prohibition, the teetotaler Captain William McCoy ran a successful illegal booze operation from a series of ships anchored miles off the Eastern Seaboard.
While researching "Rum Row" — the story of infamous rumrunner Bill McCoy — we came accross this original New York Times article reporting on his arraignment in New Jersey. In his statment to the jury, McCoy very earnestly defends himself:
"I have no tale of woe to tell you. I was outside the three-mile limit, selling whisky, and good whisky, to any one and every one who wanted to buy.
"Up until three years ago I lived with my parents in Daytona, Fla., and built high-class yachts. . . .Then in 1921 my parents died. Shortly after this my bulldog died."
Someone get this guy a drink.